Those things I'll never say

I've always been that shy, quiet girl. Of course I've never been the center of attention, or the smartest girl, or the prettiest and of course not the one with the best clothes. 

I've always been Sandra, jeans, converse and a t-shirt, and a shy smile. Of course I like to wear cute clothes when I hang out, but also I've never been the popular girl that hangs out a lot, so when I brought my clothes the last time, I brought a lot of clothes because I needed them and I brought, jeans, concert t-shirts, t-shirts, etc. And I do have some cute t-shirts, but enough to the amount of time I hang out. I never thought I would ever get the attention of someone I actually like, and actually have dates and hang out every weekend. 

And I know my sisters hate I ask them too much for their clothes. But I never really saw him coming, I never saw coming someone I would actually like to look like the prettiest girl even thought I know I'm not. But sure I will look better in their clothes, than in mine. Mine are for school. And I regret the amount of t-shirts I brought, but I can't change that. 

The last time I asked my sister something and she said no, because she was tired of me asking her things when all I brought was different kind of clothes. I started crying because I wanted to tell her how I felt, she had have attention of guys since she is 15. Not me. So I never thought I would need it, at least not now. I thought I would actually get that summer job and I could brought clothes there. But it didn't happened, I'm broke and I just have t-shirts I won't wear with him, because I know that I'm not pretty, and they definitely make me look less pretty. And I never cared because I felt comfortable, I never cared until I met someone I actually like and care a lot. And I just don't want to lose him, because I'm not pretty. 

But of course I'll never tell my sister's this. Because like always I'll be making myself "the victim". I just kind want they would understand, those things I'll never say. I guess that if I never say them out loud, nobody will understand. And of course I won't tell him, because he will say "I look good with everything", when I know I'm not. And I don't want him to know I don't believe him when he says I'm beautiful or pretty.