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I wish I could say all that's in my mind. But I can't... I can't afford losing someone else. The worst part it's that they're here. But I lose them. And I can't do anything to have them back, I want... But they'll never be the same. Not with me. They will never love me the same way, they will never ever do it again. If I'm sure about 1 thing it's that... I lose them. And I have no idea how to have them back. I'm not sure if they want, but I do. And I don't know what to do. So I just stay quiet all day, I just cry in the night when I'm sure they're sleeping. I can't look at her in the eyes. I'll miss those days, I'll miss them a lot... I miss my best friend. I miss my sissy. I honestly hate this feeling. I feel like a big hole in my chest, everytime I hear it. Everytime I understand what's happening. And I just cry again alone. Where no one will see me. Where no one know how much it hurts.