Hola mi amor

Hola mi amor :$ solo te quería decir que eres un angelito, eres mi angelito :$ y nunca te voy a poder agradecer todo lo que has hecho por mi, tal vez me pasaron cosas que me dolieron y me hirieron mucho y cuando no puedo dormir esas cosas me vuelven a doler y las vuelto a sentir, y se que inconscientemente te duele a ti saber que estoy así y que me duelen de nuevo. Cuando estoy contigo es como estar con un angelito te lo prometo que se me olvida todo y me siento en el mejor lugar del mundo, gracias por quererme y cuidarme tanto, las cosas que pasaron ya pasaron, ya no puedo hacer nada no las puedo cambiar, pero si puedo cambiar la forma en que reacciono a ellas o a sus recuerdos, no puedo cambiar como me hicieron sentir en ese momento, pero si como me siento ahora. No voy a dejar que el pasado arruine mi presente, nuestro presente, y nuestro futuro. Te lo prometo que aveces lo único que necesito es que me entiendas, por que estoy segura que no se me va a olvidar y habrá momentos en los que voy a tener miedo. Cuando eso pase, te voy a decir abiertamente que me abraces, que me des un beso en la frente porque te necesito y te amo. No quiero que tu te sientas triste cuando yo lo estoy, porque cuando empiece a sentirme triste me voy a controlar, voy a controlar mis nervios e inseguridades. Y si estas cerca te voy a abrazar. Nunca olvides que siempre te voy a querer con cada pedazo de mi alma, y que lo ultimo que quiero es que estés triste, sobretodo porque yo lo estoy. Por eso te repito y te prometo, que lo voy a controlar, yo soy mas fuerte que mis inseguridades. Y mi amor por ti es también mas fuerte, nunca olvides que eres mi mejor amigo, mi novio, mi amor y mi angelito. Tampoco olvides que te amo con todo mi corazón y que voy a hacer todo lo posible para que siempre seas feliz. También quiero que sepas que si confió en ti, y confió en que todo eso que me da miedo no va a pasar, y que me amas tanto como yo a ti. No te voy a dejar ir. Por favor tu tampoco me dejes ir.

Bullying

I'm pretty sure everyone has heard this word at least once, and I'm also pretty sure that most of the people had talked about someone in their back, at least once... I always say "I don't know why I'm talking about this, or what I'm gonna say" but today I'm pretty sure what I have to say...

People often over use this word, and say "This is bullying" for almost anything. Like 1 week ago was the graduation of my little sister, she graduated from high school, and in the party they made like prizes for everyone like "the most intelligent", "the best couple", "the best dressed", etc. There was a girl that organized that, that changed them all in the moment, she gave "the most bullied" to a girl... in front of her whole family... She gave "the most dumb" to some other girl she didn't liked, and she also gave "the best couple" to this last girl, to her and her ipad. And she said, "because we all know she is forever alone, and no one notices her, just her ipad". I have knew all my life that in middle school, some kid kicked my brother, but this Saturday I found out, he was in the line, 2 kids grabbed him, and another one started kicking him in the stomach. My brother has always been too skinny and too small. Or I can say about the time when in middle school someone printed pictures of a giraffe and placed them on the locker of a tall girl. Or all the times I've seen cyberbullying on tumblr. Or that time in 7th grade when I heard 2 guys laughing about a picture of me as a baby, then when they saw I was listening they said that to my face. Or when a friend told me "You really are ugly", a "friend" and he wasn't joking. People often thinks bullying just comes from people we don't like. Or how my mother hates her name so much, for all the bullying they made her.

And I could continue telling numerous stories about me, my family, my friends and people I don't know. Bullying is something that always had been there, and I'm afraid it will always will. People often says "just don't listen to them", I swear if I knew how I would do it. People don't realize how powerful words are, if everyone knew how bullying ends sometimes, I'm sure people would think twice before doing it. I don't know how to end this, I don't think there's a way to stop it. But most of the time, and in most of the cases I wrote, the people bullying have bigger problems, and they don't know how to solve them, they can't so they try to feel better making others feel less. The guy that kicked my brother, his dad shot the guy his wife was cheating on, he shot him in a restaurant, it was on the news, and everyone knew. I'm not justifying what he did to my brother, it doesn't justify what bullys do to innocent people. I'm just saying that they might react different with a little of compression and with treatment before they do stupid things. Everyone has feelings, EVERYONE. Even Hitler had, but he wasn't treated, he wasn't loved, he wasn't accepted, and everyone know what he did.

I thought I would have a nice end to this, but I can't think of one. I just can't stop thinking that if everyone had love, if everyone had compression, a smile and a friend. The world would be a different place. If everyone knew how much words hurt, how much actions remain.

In 2009 in México City 190 kids killed them selves for bullying. And there were 13, 633 reports of bullying, just in that city. And this is just a city, and just a year. I'm afraid to keep searching. I just kinda wish it could be easily over. :C