I'm used everyone compares me to my sisters and likes, because they are funnier and beautiful. I'm used everyone flirts with my friends, no one with me. I'm used the guys I like/love/date always end up liking someone else and leave me all broken. I'm used to not be the center of attention. I'm used to be the shy girl no one talks to. I'm used to be the girl their friends tease joking, because I'm the only one that doesn't complain. I'm used to be the girl with a smile, trying to cheer up everyone, when she cries at night. I'm used to not be the best. I'm used that everyone replace me eventually. I'm so fucking used to it. But it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.
I'm so tired to being a choice for everyone. Everyone likes me and thinks I'm good enough, until they found someone better. Even my friends, I know everyone will replace me eventually. Everyone had done that, everyone will. Why can't someone look at me and love me just ME, like me just ME. Of course there will always be someone better, but that doesn't mean everyone has to try. Why I'm not good enough for anyone.. not even my friends, not even my family. Why can't someone look at me, like if I was the only girl in the world. Why can't I have a friend that knows my others friends, and knowing they rather me anyway. I hate feeling like this. I hate when someone tease me with something like this, because they don't know how it hurts. I just want to be SANDY, not the sister... or the friend... or that girl.. :( I just want to be good enough for someone, so they will stay with ME, because they only want ME. Not me until they can get better.. :(
Hi Sandy.
ReplyDeleteI just founded your blogspot and readed a few of your notes. Thanks for sharing.
I've been in that place too, and I have to tell you something, hoping you believe my words.
I don't think your friends or siblings are better than you are. God made us and we are free to make choices, to learn life lessons, we are the owners of our personality.
You're the one that is always telling yourself (and even others) that you're sad, that you feel lower than the others, that everybody compares you, and then you feel bad, and that's your face to the world. You believe it, then you create it.
The people around you are not the problems, your sisters and friends are not better than you are, you are just too shy to show the world the amazing girl you are, and people will not be interested in knowing you deeper, because you don't believe you're someone who's worth to know.
That's what I want you to know. The problem is not you, you just have to focus on your attitude and believe you're amazing.
I love you, who ever you are. Thank you! This made me smile so much, and I'm trying to not be shy, and I'm trying to love myself more. I just want someone that accepts me this way, like I don't need to be someone else so they can talk to me. But I will change my attitude. Thank you!:)
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